Motif Part Three: Critique and Concluding Remarks

I had my first critique. Now I'm really an art student. This of course is nominal, my visit to this department is only temporary. There really is no process like this in engineering, sharing each other's work and creating a space where a meaningful dialogue takes place. Plus, there's no creative experssion whatsoever. This is all fascinating to me.

I was encouraged by my peer's comments, and especially glad some pointed out the rougher spots of my work. In particular, I was fairly careless in some of my more staged shots, like the hair dryer or the spoon and bowl. If I could redo any shots, it would be those two, because I believe that thematically they fit within the phrase, but were just not executed with a good deal of forethought. One could say my style is "art by accident," I rely heavily on chance occurances during the shooting process, and if it produces a good image, I'll run away with it. The same does not apply for the editing process, I don't think you can edit without any amount of deliberate planning. And if something doesn't work, it's because you didn't make it work, in a mechanistic way. For example, my repeated images worked in one instance, but not another. One comment was made about the coffee cup and how the repetition didn't work, and I agree with that sentiment. I wasted precious seconds on the same image and had no defensible motive for it's inclusion. Luckily, I percieve that these nuances do not take away from the piece as a whole.

If this was an experiment, it was carried out successfully in terms of variety, pacing, aural qualities, some semblance of narration, etc. In other areas, not so well, but the process is a continual one, and improvement is an upward vector, whatever that means (to which I have yet to inject some meaning).

What I liked about other students' projects was the variety of their approaches, beyond my assembly of images having to do with each other. Some had a certain subtlety that I was unable to achieve. Some were over the top in terms of production values, others were minimalist in approach and had the same effect. Overall I enjoyed watching their projects, as it served to remind me how functionally fixed I really am. What I thought were a million different possibilities is more like a billion or so. I wish I had something more insightful to say at this point about the motifs in general, but it's not over yet. It's a continual process.

Here's what my group members had to say about Circles:

Danny: I really liked your shots. There was some aspects to them that seemed to interfere with the circle motif, but for the most part I felt that they actually added to the film and gave it more character. Your choice of music was good, and it synced up really well with the movie, and it's usually hard to make that happen. I really like your shot out the window of the library. The motion in the background really adds to that one.

Edward: I thought your video was so amazing because of the huge variety of detail you were able to capture from the motif of circles.

I especially thought your video had good transitions, the way you had the shots change in sync with the accents of the song, which gave the film a good flow. What I saw was that you were linking groups of circular objects, such when you had the picture of the no bikes sign, then the bike wheel, and the bike sprocket; the eye close-up to eyehole on the door; the music cover to ipod to record playing, etc. These groupings worked out, my favorite groupings probably involving the shots of the eye, since our eyes are the ultimate circle of perspective, they make the best transition between the different circle groups. My favorite shot that I think many others liked also was the elevator buttons scene, where you perfectly synced the pressing of the buttons with the music gave me a high point in sensation, it was so well done.

One thing that stood out a little was the incorporation of time. In the beginning of the film I really like how you start out with a shot of a window in a dark room with the sun and then to the green clock to paper sun to outside. Then towards the end you have shots of the moon, suggesting a passing day narrative, especially since you end the film at the beginning shot of the high window with sun shining through. Yet this time narrative doesn't necessarily fit in with the groups of shots in between I discussed in the last paragraph, but it's something you don't really notice until after you've watched the whole video. So maybe I would suggest to maybe remove the moon shot maybe to maybe not disrupt the circle groups you have going on. Other than that, this video was definitely one of my favorties. Great job dude.

Will: I think that your footage has a keen freshness, not only in the way it was shot, but also in the juxtaposition of the images. I loved the gear thing hanging on the bulletin board particularly. As I said in class, the repetition of the coffee mug felt a little unnecessary given the extraordinary range of your other images, but that's a really minor quibble. Like Cory, I feel that the brief instances of human presence were intriguing rather than distracting. The only exception was that for some reason the shot of someone pretending to eat distracted me; maybe because it felt artificial whereas your other images had a nice "found art" quality to them. The union of music and image was another strong point; one didn't interfere with the other and they had a balanced cohesion.

In terms of the overall "motif" I felt you accomplished your goal nicely. The suggestion of a progression (the daytime and nighttime shots of the circular window - splendid!) was subtle and enjoyable. The way that you combined things of such a varied sort (symbols dancing with eyes and windows and other objects) was commendable and stimulating.